My Musings
So I stopped posting my logs because it was becoming too much of a hassle to record and then rewrite and then think it over a billion times. It kept food too far in the forefront of my mind. I’m still logging and discussing it with people, but not several times over. I’m doing great with calories; consistently staying between 1400 and 1600 total calories a day. That’s my target range at the moment.
There is a lot of differences in my shape and what not. I can honestly say that I haven’t felt this comfortable with myself in a very long time. And I know, Alissa may be reading this and thinking I had no reason to not (I know you are =P), but I’ve been so afraid of becoming like my mom and pretty much her entire family that I’ve made myself totally uncomfortable with my gradual but continual weight gain. I’m starting to feel comfortable again because I feel better, I look better, and I’m pretty much setting it in stone that I’m not going to end up with the problems her family has.
One thing that’s very genetic is that they have a strong history of heart disease. My mom’s already suffered from it and almost had a heart attack. I’m not gonna let myself have that issue at 35 like she did. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a terrible eater, but she has some bad habits that even that couldn’t break her of, and I’m gonna take the chance to learn from her mistakes. It’s actually fairly easy because I’ve always been one to eat healthily, but I’ve lost those little habits that I used to hold on to (sever depression definitely caused that). And I’m realizing how much I miss those choices I used to make. Because I was always choosing things that tasted good and was healthy for you. I don’t really do that anymore…well, I am now, but I wasn’t before. And I like it =)
